Titanium Rose: Codes of behaviour conductive to rock’n’roll girldom

1) Never sleep with your boss

2) Or at least wait until they aren’t your boss anymore

3) Don’t take drugs

4) Unless it’s draw or whizz at parties, if it’s ‘around’ and you feel like it.

5) Never sleep with members of other bands – particularly ‘foxy guitarists’ or ‘pouty jailbait popstars’.

6) There is good press, and there is bad press… spotting the difference is best left to experts.

7) Do as I say, not as I do.

8) Never attempt to make clothes when drunk.

9) Never beat up members of your own band, no matter how much they annoy you.

10) Champagne also contains alcohol, even when it’s free.

11) Fame and happiness are two different things, not always mutually compatible.

12) Never confess your innermost thoughts to a stranger: They might print them.

13) Service stations are for brushing your teeth in and washing your hair. That they also have toilets and sell food is a happy by product.

14) Vans always break down. Always.

15) Silence is not golden, on the contrary, it speaks volumes.

16) If planning to drunkenly fall off stage, make sure nobody is looking.

17) It is never your turn to pick the music for the van. Accept this, and take a walkman, or beg your manager for a loan of the ipod.

18) As the drummer and bassist, get used to sitting quietly ignored in interview situations. And be thankful for it.

19) You can always use the dead time in interviews to develop your own silent, exclusive language, comprised of facial expressions and gestures, thus adding to the rich series of myths around the rhythm section.

20) As the singer and guitarist, be prepared to be asked lots of questions you don’t really know the answers to, and get ready to fall back on the approved list of rock cliches to answer them. If you do get to talk normally and intelligently about things that interest you, don’t expect any of it to appear in print.

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